You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The beer is more important than you right now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
