So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
