My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
