You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
