No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
