Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize