who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
