On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
