and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
