btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
This toilet bowl is my home.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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