sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
