well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
