dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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