never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
