Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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