Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
