my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
