Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
