The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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