We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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