Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
