I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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