I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Randomize
