I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
