: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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