im drinking this country out of the recession.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
