is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
