today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
