Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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