It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
