We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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