I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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