Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
