"it" just moved
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
