Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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