Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize