He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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