I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
