that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
