I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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