oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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