When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
