he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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