I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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