My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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