honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
