HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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