so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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