Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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