I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
