I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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