Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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