Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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