also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
