My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
