8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
