Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
