When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
