there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
that is very illegal...i love you.
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