I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
