Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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