Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize